Unicyclists Bible


I don't mean to offend anyone please let me know if you find this offensive.
But i did not write these with any intention to be offensive but just to add a bit of humor to the site

Creation of the World

God made the world in 6 days and on the 7th God decided that some of the people he created were made with a slight deficciantly, this disability mean they felt no fear, God thought that this could be a danger to the people as they progressed through life so to channel this endless adrenilin flowing in their blood God created the unicycle and from then on the world was a happy place


Joseph and His Technicolour Dreamcoat rewritten...

Well there is the story of Joseph’s technocolour dreamcoat rewritten….

There was once a man called Jacob and he had 11 sons and they all loved to ride bikes, all of them that is except one, his name was Kris and he found no enjoyment or thrill in the sport of biking and so for his birthday his dad brought him a unicycle. when all the other brothers herded up the sheep and went to market on their bikes Kris would go deep into the forest and in a clearing he would spent hours and hours practicing his unicycling. But the other brothers grew jealous because Jacob would tell people of how talented his son Kris was and then one day Jacob brought Kris a mulitcoloured Carbon Fibre 26 Muni worth £700.00! Well for the brothers this was just one step too far they decided Kris needed to be punished and they plotted their revenge. The next day they dug a hole in the road and covered it in leaves, then they hid and watched as Kris rode towards in on his Uni, Kris fell down the hole and was trapped! They then packed him into a sack and put him as cargo in a boat. Kris grew up to become one of the worlds best unicyclists and his brothers were amazed at his talent and were very sorry at what they had done. But in the end Kris forgove them and taught them all how to unicycle!


The Good Samaritan (Or the Good Unicyclist) a slightly more modern version

In a small village there was a boy and he was very lonely because he didn’t have any friends and he was bullied a lot.
For a long time the boy had been saving up for this one very special thing, for years and years he had worked at the local farm from dawn till dusk to earn enough money for his dream. His dream wasn’t a flashy car or the most fashionable clothing, it was a unicycle! Finally one day he had saved up enough money and brought himself a beautiful green unicycle, it was a very special unicycle because green unicycles are very rare.
No longer was the boy lonely, instead of being all alone after school and at weekends he would ride around all the village lanes on his wonderful green wheel. Other kids in the village grew jealous and laughed at him calling him names like ‘circus freak’ and ‘clown face’, but the boy didn’t care he was just happy to ride around. Then one day the boy was out riding and a horrible group of boys from the village stretched a trip wire across the lane at the bottom of a steep hill and hid behind tree. As the boy was gliding downhill (he was very good at gliding and could go very fast) he wasn’t paying attention to the lane really just caught up in the joy and excitement of cruising downhill at great speed, suddenly he hit the trip wire and went flying off his unicycle and into a nasty patch of brambles and stinging nettles. The horrible boys who had set up the trap were in fits of laughter and ran off leaving the poor boy. The nettles were stinging him badly and he was scraped and battered by the brambles, also went he hit the trip wire it was made of thin metal wire and had badly cut into his leg and there was a big gash that was deep and bleeding badly. Suddenly a girl walked towards the hedge (she was very pretty and popular at his school) but instead of stopping and helping she glanced and hurried on not wanting to associate with the ‘school geek.’ Next a young couple walked past with a toddler, but they too just turned there eyes from him and picked up their kid and walked faster. The poor boy had lain in the hedge for over an hour now and his leg was looking terrible, also his face was pale from blood loss and tearstained from crying over his beautiful green unicycle which lay bent and mangled nearby. Just then a boy from the local village came into view at the top of the lane, and too the boys great surprise he was riding a unicycle! He came whizzing down the hill and leapt off at the bottom, he ran over to the boy and lifted him out of the hedge and he took off his jumper and bound it tightly around the boy’s leg. He told the boy he had watched him unicycle and been amazed and had saved up and got one of his own, he called the ambulance and the boy was taken to hospital.
When he was better the boy went unicycling with the nice unicyclist who had saved his life and they became great friends went unicycling loads together!



Apoligies for the very bad attempt on photoshop to make a green version of the Kris Holm 20" Freestyle Unicycle (hope unicycle.uk.com don't mind me wrecking their photo!)